i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
