I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
