i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
