its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
