After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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