she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
