PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
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