I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
