there's paper in my vomit.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
