Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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