Don't you send me to vm
Say something about gay babies.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
