I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think I died a long time ago.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
