Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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