Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
