You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
