idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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