it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
