If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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