My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
