There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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