I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
