Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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