Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
