Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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