Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
