forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
