and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
