I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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