do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Randomize
