I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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