seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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