I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
