My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
