I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
hell yes lets make some ravioli
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
