Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
