i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize