dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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