I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you would pick up someone in the library
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
