That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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