I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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