Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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