guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
