listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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