Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
