I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
