No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
