I smell stomach acid.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
