i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
