Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
