Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
They have beer where we have blood.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
