Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry biker0827 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.

Fav 41 3977 1410
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text

Fav 7 809 3459
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(912): View more from Georgia

He kissed a someone with a penis

Fav 14 1358 3522
share tweet
(305): View more from Florida

I don't even know why I got my vag waxed

(786): View more from Florida

Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.

Fav 25 1064 5389
share tweet
(515): View more from Iowa

Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.

Fav 6 3379 1020
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire

Fav 10 5422 1993
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar

Fav 11 4884 2142
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(212): View more from New York

No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?

Fav 0 632 563
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

well that was a fail

(1-518): View more from New York

maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra

Fav 0 49 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT