I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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