Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
