He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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