Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
