Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
