How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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