I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think I am morally bankrupt
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he thought i was a dude.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
