The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize