Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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