: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
